It’s not always easy to do what we want to do, and we get complacent when it is easy for a while. I need to remember that easiness is a gift and I dare not forget that.
This last year has been especially challenging for me just because of the little bits that happen, often tending to come together in one of life’s bottlenecks. That convergent timing can make somebody feel a little picked on.
None of these occurrences that I call bits are insurmountable, but in fact are the kind of challenges (aka speed bumps) that everyone has. When health-related, and more frequent as we get older, they are also something we are resistant to look at objectively. We don’t want a steady diet of harsh reality, even if our reality is gentler than someone else’s. Case in fact, while we know that everyone has something going on that the rest of us don’t know about, we are ‘sure’ that ours is bigger and badder than someone else’s.
One of my speed bumps, and my current bane, is the simple wait for overdue cataract surgery. We knew I had cataracts growing, but when some other priorities had to step up for attention this year, cataract surgery got bumped to the back burner. As a very visual person, indeed an artist by passion, waiting to be able to see the world around me unencumbered hit harder than I expected. My color pallette was altered, let alone being able to translate and reproduce what I’m seeing effectively on paper or canvas is … let’s say “eye opening”. I’m finding myself impatient to be scheduled, and downright cross because I can’t paint effectively.
I am embarrassed because I never completely understood the impact this has had on other people. Cataract surgery is relatively common as we age and I know more older people who have had it done, than don’t. Once again I am humbled by deferred empathy.
So I will keep playing with little sketches and watercolor and use my magnifying glass when I struggle to find my mark. It isn’t really important if the work is great. It will be more important to keep reminding myself that this is temporary and patience, is indeed a virtue.
Kelly E. James 
(Second try. I don’t think the first one made it to anywhere. WordPress really hates me.)
My dad used to say “Growing old isn’t for sissies.” My regular response was “But the alternatives are even less desirable.” Sorry to hear about your vision problems, but at least there are things to try for fixing it. And in the mean time, you aren’t giving up, which is important. Please don’t give up your art. I have your painting of my horse hung where I can see it several times a day, and I am still amazed at the life your talent put into the portrait.
A couple of years ago I needed a heart valve replacement. That frightened me a lot, but it turned out to be a one hour procedure that required only a tiny incision. I was picturing open heart surgery, but things have advanced a great deal while I wasn’t looking. They sent me home the next day, and let me beg off from the physical therapy follow up because I live on a farm and have plenty of exercise things to do every day. No complications, just a yearly exam and some pills to take every day.
We are currently absorbed by a new puppy I got from the shelter here in Woodstock. I had been looking for a playmate for the dog we already had. Ares is a Great Pyrenees mix and like most Pyrs, sheds white fur over everything and spends most of his time sleeping. I thought a friend to play with might wake him up and give him some exercise. That turned out to be true, more or less. Only now both of them are under foot all the time and busy wrestling around and growling. (Yet the fall asleep cuddled together on the sofa or our bed.)
Puppy was called “Hansel” at the shelter. His sister Gretel was adopted first, so he was left alone. They put him in the Independent as “pet of the week” and that’s how I saw him first. I had a very good experience with another “pet of the week” dog years back, so I made an appointment. Like the previous boy, “Laddie,” he immediately tried to crawl into my lap. I was done, had to have him. We changed his name to just “Hans” because “Hansel” is a diminutive, implying a child “Little Hans.” At seven months old and 38 pounds, Hans is already beyond “little” in my opinion and he is still growing. I expect he will pass 50 pounds before he’s done.
Anyway, hope you get the cataract issue settled soon, and by all means show us what you are doing now. I love pencil drawings and watercolors too. The horse portrait you posted here looks great to me.
–Gary Lee
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I appreciate comments. Thanks!
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Your comment came through loud and clear this time, and it couldn’t have made me happier to hear from you. I think I’m due for a visit to meet this new bouncing fur baby and have a good visit with you all. They say when you’re discouraged you should reach out to friends, and hearing back from you is just the lift I needed.
I had a new valve this summer as well…one of my mentioned speed bumps. Amazing science, to be sure.
It makes me so happy to hear that you’re still loving your painting. I enjoyed doing it and seeing your place. That was a good day, wasn’t it?
I will keep painting. I must.
Thank you for commenting here, my friend. 💞
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