[singlepic id=148 w= h= float=right]Here is the second painting. It is a completely new subject for me but I thought that as long as I was trying new things I would try some architectural subjects like boats and buildings. It also forced me to do water – always a bit of a challenge for me. Still a small canvas at 11 x 14, it was also great fun to do. Laid out quickly and loosely with all of the large brush blocking again, it made progress fast and gestural and pleasurable. Again, by the time I shifted to a smaller brush to work on the detail and edges I was having serious fun and spending barely half the time I used to spend belaboring the same size canvas.

I will post the final painting when I get done this weekend. 

[singlepic id=149 w= h= float=right]As I said yesterday, I created several new works that reflect the next phase of my development and will roll them out here over several days. 
The first one, shown here, is a small, 11 x 14 landscape that was great fun to do. It was laid out quickly and loosely with all of the large brush blocking of my plein aire studies over the summer. That made its progress fast and gestural, and quite fun. By the time I shifted to a smaller brush to work on the detail and edges I was ready for the pleasure that painting detail brings me. There-in lies my meditative concentration that I was missing when I tried to stay true to the fully plein aire impressionistic style. Yes, it still looks like I have spent a crazy amount of time on the piece but, in fact, I have cut my time substantially.  So sufficiently that I am able to complete more work, more quickly.
I think I am finding that balance of the good marriage.

The holidays are now past and I, like most, have gone back to our working patterns. I had been fortunate enough to have the week off between Christmas and New Years but unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling well so it became a quiet time at home. The great part of a sta-cation like this is that it gave me time to gather my thoughts and separate out the work tasks and plans from my painting tasks and goals and apply the evaluation I have been doing during the last couple of months. By the end of the week I began to paint. I created several new works that reflect the next phase of my development and will roll them out here over the next several days. Let’s call these New year’s work since 2 were completed over the new Year’s weekend with a third, well started.

Through the course of this summer, as I have contemplated bringing these two methods together, I have referred to the process as marrying the two styles. It’s an interesting term and somehow fitting because a good marriage is about balance. Balance does not necessarily mean bean-countingly equal or always 50/50, but a fluid blending where one or the other may predominate occasionally.

One’s strength is another’s weakness and visa versa. It is the blended balance of the two becoming one that actually provides the strength, and the combination of the two diverse components (or partners) create better versions of themselves in the unity.

This weekend I began my first painting in the studio that is an attempt to bring these two paint handling styles together. It feels clumsy and it does not yet have that extra spark but there are parts of what is happening that I like. I predict that once the new marriage finds its balance it has the potential to make me happy like my landscapes have in the past.

It is notably faster with an initial layout process only hours instead of days long. I attempted to stick to the one inch brush for the duration, and could not. I have now reached for the smaller brush to put in details, and am having more fun, although now I feel like I am cheating.

I find myself struggling to articulate this process. I have never been good at sustained written dialogue, as those who follow this sporadic blog can attest. Art is so much more than the visible end product, but each work over a lifetime becomes the cryptic evidence of an underlying process that defines and redefines who I actually am. I knew that my self evaluation through the course of this year has been core shifting but I had no idea that it might actually be a realignment of emotions and perceptions that have been allowed to simply grow untended or guided for years. I rolled up my sleeves and walked into my secret garden after years of neglect and was appalled at the weedy, overgrown mess I had allowed. As disruptive as that imagery is, to finally confront it is actually an invigorating and healthy undertaking.
The landscapes I began to paint last year made me happy. I love the light and the color and the moods they evoke.
The plein-aire painting I have done this year has been uncomfortable and stimulating and allowed me to interact with the public in a new, spontaneous way. Now, I need to bring them together.

This is really hard work. Maybe the hardest art growth I have experienced to date.

Confucius had said something to the effect that, we must not fear slowly moving forward but fear instead, standing still. I am really hoping this learning process can be considered moving forward toward a better place. The process is certainly daunting. I am burning through small canvases at a fairly good clip in an attempt to feel the relaxing of some deeply ingrained habits. None of these paintings are what I consider done but I am declaring them not worth finishing and stopping before I dig in and get trapped into fixing them.

I am sure that the action of pushing paint around with larger brushes has redeeming worth. I am even sure it will have a positive effect on my style, eventually. The advise is sound. It is just really hard to intentionally work outside my comfort zone.

So, what makes it hard? I am not having fun. My up-tight, detailed style was a source of zen like enjoyment that relieved daily stress, captured realistic light, and clarified my fractured thoughts. I keep hoping for that moment when I will suddenly ‘get.it’ and the epiphany will allow me to reach the turning point and begin to marry my new and old styles. I have no idea where this is all going.

I feel like I am in school again, but I am not one of the smart kids in class.